December 31, 2023

I read back over a few years of writing. I had the best intentions each year but I don't really 

see any progress. The change has to come from within, and that starts with me. 

Putting 

everyone and everything else first gets me no where. Time to be selfish. 

I can't control the turmoil of the world. I think its time to barely watch the news. 

Say no more. Say yes less. 

When you are as low as you think you can get, there's always the get a spoon and keep digging method. 

Or you can stop, roll over, look up, see the stars, see the ships from 

faraway places zip through the night, and realize how small you are in the big picture. 

Fill up the entire frame with the painting of your life well lived. 

And so it is. Raise the vibe get out of the gutter. 

 

Almost Thanksgiving 

A very bad fall has left me in worse condition. Hairline fractures in leg and arm. I go from bad to worse it seems. Trying to prep the decoration for the front deck, I want a swag and a tower, and a new wreath. My trees have dropped HUGE pine cones! I will add them in the mix. I have a metal tower wrapped so far. 

Putting Halloween things away and looking for items I could not find last year due to the mayhem of death and drama. I can do without another season of sadness. 

No big plans for Thanksgiving, daughter always chooses to go with friends or on a trip. There are worse things than being quiet. The virus ruined what little community or interaction I had outside of home it seems for good. 

Work is good, so a blessing is very welcomed in that aspect.  

 The Pink Moon 

We have a clear night for the first super moon of 2021.

The garden called me today and I will be cooking out doors. 

I am determined to rebound from last year and all of its pain, real, imagined, or forced on me. Today a few steps in the right direction were realized. 

My creative spark is coming back. I have ordered items for new projects. 

My front deck is covered in plants and hanging baskets. My roses survived the winter and are now working their way up the pergola posts. 

Two gardenia tree's are setting buds. Eventually they will be so tall I will have to shape them down a bit. I am ordering fairy lights for them. 

Take excellent care of yourself. No one else ever will. 

Bright blessings, so mote it be. 

2021 

New Year, same crap. People dying from Covid. 5 friends with cancer. My own pain makes it hard to walk or get anything done. Slow progress, if I push it I pay for it. Strange doings in the Capital and government. Books I am reading are pinging on current affairs even though they were written some time ago. Revisiting some books I read years ago. Matching up items from ancient banned books to new ones. Very strange sync's. Two of us heard a bell chime clear in my den. A few minutes later it happened again. Both experiencing strange neck pain that "cracks" and abates, disappears then happens out of no where again. 

This may be a strange dangerous week. I pray for peace. I pray for health restored. 

 

 

The Last Full Moon of 2020

I can still see Jupiter and Saturn on the Southwest horizon when dusk settles in. Our last full moon is tonight. Such an awful year. Said goodbye at arms length to someone who hated me. 

I have no energy to give others who feel entitled to anything. I am really going to streamline some of my life. My Dad told me in a dream to start at the top and work your way down, so I cleaned my ceiling. I need to find homes/store/donate a lot of items. 

I'm tried of crying. I am tired of what other people think. In the end its only you and Father Mother God energy. You can live in a house full of people and be totally alone. 

I realized when someone or something is too good to be true, it really is. People will play a game as long as it serves their purpose then move on like you never happened. 

I realized that my Daughter is strong, and takes her time to make up her mind about something but she comes to a great conclusion, and for that I am grateful. 

I realized that nothing can beat the gift of health, and I strive to regain mine. 

I realize people pretend to have a perfect life, family and existence and are lying their asses off. Because of what other people think. What a waste of energy. 

My fall/winter garden is growing. I will plant early this year. My bulbs need to go in the ground, hopefully this week. My fruit tree's made it. 

Well off to make small preparations for tonight. 

Let go and let God. 

Amen amen amen and so it is. 

Small Progress

I have built a closet/pantry room. Slowly sorting and filling the shelves. Its so much easier to walk in and visually see what is available whether its a dress and shoes or canned and dry goods, art supplies, each thing has an area. I only want to sort it once. Things I use the most in front. Items like pictures and scrap booking that won't get done for awhile in the back. Maybe someday my daughter will appreciate the effort to save those things. Its her little story, her history and adventures. 

Okra is ready, I picked the tomatoes, some more are forming. I should have some green ones before cold weather. I canned pickles like a mad woman all one weekend. I made hot peppers, hot and sweet, the jars are lined up in the pantry area. Its so hot still, and I need to plan and prepare my fall garden. There are 38 veggies you can grow here in the fall and winter without a lot of trouble. 

I need to pressure wash my little house. Apparently no one else is going to step up. If I can do a side a day it should be done in a week. Then finish painting the pergola. My climbing roses made it and so did my gardenia trees. Going to move the bulbs and put something else there.  

 

888 Lions Gate 

2020 has turned out to be a real shit storm. And that is the kindest thing I have to say about it. Forced to stay in, no going anywhere, trapped with no end in site. The rush for supplies, greedy people hoarding toilet paper, that I hope they are now serving for dinner. Forced to enrich Amazon and other rich assholes who charged a premium for supplies. A simple trip for paper towels took all day, came home empty handed. Now the shelves are stabilized with some products, but things people use for canning took 3 store trips, no food dehydrators or small appliances on the shelves. Unless you want a coffee maker you are out of luck. Cooking every single bite we eat. The rare pizza delivery because you are just so sick of preparing food. I am pretty sure my daughter and I both had the virus. In late February she got sick and of course gave it to me. I was in bed for two weeks. I got behind in work and didn't care. I am still weak, heart palpation's,  dizzy, fainted out right and hit the deck outside. 

I took some solace in my garden, very slow going but built a stand up pallet garden with an arch, landscaped, it, the beginnings of a small orchard is taking shape. I plan to install a pool next year. I so miss swimming. I did some of the things I promised myself last year. I have a long way to go. 

We just had a hurricane and lost 5 days, no power and the weakness from heat afterwards takes a toll. I have my game plan, generator and a/c alternative so it won't happen again. Making a storage room/closet out of a spare room. 

I taught myself how to can. Daddy would be proud. He loved to can his veggies that he grew himself. So far I am the salsa queen and Italian pasta sauce. I am going to tackle chow chow next, two ways, one with corn and one with cabbage. I plan on cooking and being outside as much as possible. If they don't close our beach again, I hope to find myself there walking again a few days a week. That hurt me more than anything. I thought well if everything is closed I can still fish and walk. Oh hell no, the government decided that was risky, yet you could go in Lowe's, Wal Mart or grocery stores as often as you like. I am a lot safer in fresh salt air away from people than in a nasty store. 

I had one big life decision made for me, it was taken out of my hands due to illness and for this I thank the Universe, for I would have continued till I was no more. A human can be a vampire, and sometimes it takes you all your life to realize it. Baby steps, my PTSD is a bit better. 

I made a new friend he has 4 legs and is now my little dog. His owner passed suddenly and no one in the family wanted him. I'm glad because I sure love him. 

So as we enter the Lions Gate, I hope to continue to improve. 

Strength return, peace, love and prosperity.  

Ask and you shall receive, and so it is.

Axel's face says it all. Bite me.